The Internet backs a woman who ‘bans’ her brother from wearing a dress at her wedding

Commenters supported a woman who told her younger brother they couldn’t wear a dress to their wedding after they came out as non-binary.

The anonymous woman, known only as u/givemeausernameeee, posted about her situation on the popular “Am I The A**hole” Reddit forum, receiving nearly 8,500 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

According to the Human Rights Campaign, approximately 2 million Americans identify as transgender. The word transgender, or trans, is an umbrella term used for people whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth.

It is estimated that three in 10 adults in the US know someone who is trans. The term transgender can include many gender identities: nonbinary, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, agender, and bigender.

Woman told her brother not to wear a dress
The woman said she doesn’t think her brother is actually non-binary and is “coming out” as a joke because one of his groomsmen is trans.
Vovchyn Taras/iStock

In the post titled “AITA for forbidding my brother to wear a dress?” The 32-year-old woman explained that her 15-year-old brother is the “golden boy” and that he is spoiled and disrespectful.

“I found him looking for alternative things online and while I don’t think he’s gotten that far yet, I’m really worried about the person he’s becoming. My parents think it’s a phase because he’s a ‘sweet boy’.”, the post said.

I’m not in the habit of policing other people’s identities, but it’s pretty clear to me that he thinks this is a joke.

original poster

She said her brother recently decided to “come out” as non-binary and insists on wearing a dress to his wedding, but said she doesn’t believe her brother.

“I’m not in the habit of policing other people’s identities, but it’s very clear to me that he thinks this is a joke,” the post read. “Literally the ONLY time this is mentioned is when talking about my wedding. He jokes that he needs to wear a dress to be himself and then laughs. Every time. He can’t even keep a straight face, he thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world.”

The woman said she would let her brother wear a dress if it weren’t for one of the groomsmen, her fiance’s close friend, James. She said that James recently started transitioning from her and is still “presenting as feminine,” which is a source of stress.

“My brother met James at my fiancee’s birthday barbecue a few weeks ago and this started a few days later, which is another reason why I think this is one way he harasses James because he thinks it’s funny.” said the post.

She said her brother asked her why James is allowed to be a groomsman and wear a suit when they can’t be a bridesmaid or wear a dress, but added that she laughed as he asked.

I am 100% sure my brother is being a transphobic f**kwad and I am determined to stop him from making fun of James in this way.

original poster

“I am 100% sure my brother is being a transphobic f**kwad and I am determined to stop him from making fun of James in this way,” the post read. “My brothers and fiancé see exactly what I see (because it’s obvious) and they don’t agree with this either.”

However, he said his brother told his parents that the family does not support his identity.

She said she’s threatening that security will kick her brother out of the wedding if they show up in a dress, but that would also mean turning their parents away.

“One of my friends said it shouldn’t be as big a deal as I’m making it out to be and he’d just be embarrassed, but I really think James would be uncomfortable,” the post read.

She added that when she texted to see when her brother wanted to go dress shopping and what they were thinking about for makeup, her brother responded with a middle finger emoji.

redditor reactions

Nearly 1,000 users commented on the post, with many supporting her for standing up to her brother and protecting James’ feelings.

“I would talk to James and let him know, then let your brother wear the dress,” one user commented. “Offer to go shopping with him to pick one out. $5 says that if you really lean into this, your brother will back off because he won’t get a reaction from you anymore.”

Lean HARD!!! For example, have you, your mom, and your sister go shopping with him!” one user suggested. “Have him try on dresses, and DON’T forget the bras and panties!… You may not be the ah in your post”. , but you absolutely should be the ruthless AH if you do this.

reddit comment

“Lean HARD! As if your mother, you and your sister went shopping with him!” suggested a user. “Have her try on dresses, and DON’T forget bras and panties!… You may not be the ah in your post, but you absolutely should be the ruthless AH if you do this.”

“NTA. Play. Go dress shopping with him. Have him go through all the rituals and see what comes out of it. Bet he changes his mind later,” wrote another.

“He’s planning to hurt someone for being gay,” one user commented. “Don’t let that go. Don’t let your parents bury that with ‘boys will be boys’. He’s lying to them, he’s abusing his parents.”

news week reached out to u/givemeausernameeee for comment.

Another bride recently went viral on Reddit for getting mad at her partner after he returned her wedding dress.

In another viral Reddit post, a bride had her sister-in-law banned from her wedding for being too pretty.

A woman was praised for refusing to call off her wedding after her sister-in-law’s divorce.

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